Hello folks this is Brett Keane,
A lot of people ask me, "hey Brett, why are you so awesome sauce? Why do we love you so much Brett? Please let me suck your cock Brett." I appreciate all the awesome sauce for sure. Well let me tell you, I am a sexy motherfucker. Yes, I know, some people in society would call me "a repulsive, gelatinous blob with hideous facial hair, hair plugs and a fat neck." But I don't care what society thinks.
As for why do people love me, it's because I'm awesome sauce. And if you want to suck my 1 inch cock, it'll be 500 dollars. Or a new camera. Or an xbox for me... I mean my son. Or you can but my new book, eternal undying love 4: death to the trolls! They'll be only in a super special edition, printed on paper made from the hair of my taint. That'll also be 500 dollars.
So weather you're an atheist or a Christian, I think you're a peice of shit. But please give me money, they might kick me off welfare cause they started reading my Facebook page and realized I'm a degenerate.